God Bumps

Have you ever experienced a God bump? You know, those goose bumps you get because something happened, but you know that God was the one who caused it to happen? I have. Several times. This post is about the one that meant my life.

I was in my second marriage and had my two sons when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. She had a lumpectomy, radiation and chemo. Did the whole pink ribbon thing for awhile but after years went by and she stayed cancer free, the whole thing kinda went into one of those drawers you tuck away to never look at again. Even knowing that she was not the first in our family to have breast cancer, that we even had female relatives that had passed away from the disease, did not push me to continue to go to the doctor yearly and have yearly exams. Did not do the whole self check exam. In the back of my mind I wanted to believe that it would skip a generation. Even though I wouldn’t wish it on any of my kids or grandchildren or their kids – you get the picture. It was just one of those things that you think ok it’s not going to happen to me.

When I started going through my third divorce, I’ll admit I wasn’t quite with it. Other things were going on that I’ll explain in another post. That speaks more toward following God and not rushing and jumping into situations you shouldn’t. Which I was VERY bad about doing. Some days it took all I had to get up and go to work. My kids were about grown – one was a senior in high school but having issues which I won’t get into here. The other one was back living with me trying to figure out what he wanted to do in life. I’ve apologized to them for that time in my life because I sure wasn’t there for them then. It was during this time in my life that one morning I got up, went to get ready for work, and could not find the bra that I usually wore. Not a big deal I know, but I knew that it was there in my bedroom or bathroom, just no where to be seen that day. I’m not one that has a million bra’s laying around, a different color for every outfit. Usually had just the one and somewhere there was one that was a back up. So I dug around and found my back up which had not been worn in like forever! During the day, the underwire snapped. If you’ve ever had one snap you know that the poking does not feel good! You tape the end, you try putting it back in, you try to do whatever you can short of going without the bra until you can get home. When I got home, and took the bra off, there right where it had poked me I could feel a lump. I of course panicked, the family history of cancer coming out of the drawer I had tucked it away in. Of course, I had not been to a doctor in several years, not done a self check in I don’t know how long. Too late to call the doctor’s office I had to wait until the next morning. Luckily, the doctor was very understanding and was able to work me in immediately that morning.

When the doctor examine me, he did the examination and looked at me like where is it. So I put his hand on the lump and he’s like yep there’s a lump there. He looked closer and wanted to know what that indention right in the middle of the lump was. That was where the underwire had poked me the day before.

Later in the month when I met with the surgeon who was to become my surgeon for the rest of my life or his, he knew I was beating myself up for not doing self exams. He explained that even though the lump seemed big like it had been there for awhile, he believed it may have actually only been there for several months. He didn’t believe that I would have felt it five months before if I had done a self exam. But, if the underwire had not snapped that day, I cannot tell you when I would have found it. Considering at the time they removed the lump that it had grown from the first biopsy, that my breast was filled with cancer like material so they could not get the margins clear, that the main lymph node had cancer cells, and that I’m BRCA II positive, had I not found it when I did, there is a very real possibility that I would not be here today to write this post.

A God bump. Something that happened at exactly the right time to stop something even worse from happening. Something that can’t be explained especially since that night when I got home, my bra was laying right on top of my dresser. Right in plain sight.

Since my diagnosis, I’ve had several friends pass away from cancer. One from breast cancer a year and a half after I was diagnosed. The other from lung cancer several years later. Believe me I have asked myself several times a thousand why me and not them? Why was my life saved and not theirs? I still don’t have the answer. But I know it was a God bump that saved my life. I will thank God for that every day especially every day I celebrate a birthday and remember those that did lose the battle every day and thank God that I got to know them.

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven –             Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV

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