Ramblings of a Middle Age Woman -Loving Jesus

Do you remember when you first accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior?  Do you remember how much joy and love filled you? Do you still have that much joy and love in your life for Christ?

There have been plenty of times in my life where I would have to answer no to that question. Actually, the majority of times in my life. But there have been moments where I have remembered that feeling; have felt that joy and love for Christ just like the day I was saved. Unfortunately those moments are few and far between. I have no excuse as to why except I just let life get in the way. Instead of turning to God, I turned to people and things which took away my joy in Christ. The more I went down my own path, the more joy, happiness, and peace of mind I lost. Until I wound up in ho hum whatcha going to do land wondering how I ended up there – AGAIN.

Like this past week I got in a funk. Don’t know why. Don’t know what caused it. Can’t blame it on the devil even. Just ended up there. Instead of IMMEDIATELY turning to God, for a couple of days I let it drag me down and I turned to other things. Computer, games, television (my BIG go to thing here lately), and people. Not like I’ve done in the past. But still I looked. I wondered. I started playing an online game again. Did it ease the funk? Did seeking people’s approval ease the funk? Did I find happiness staring at me from a television screen? NO!

the devil says

This time it didn’t take me long to remember that people and things are not going to be where I find my joy. Living in a television set or in an online game is not going to bring me happiness. Jesus is the ONLY person that can bring me the peace and joy I so desire.


Romans 15:13
May the God of hope full you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

The devil will make us doubt our faith and he will try to steal our joy in the Lord. He doesn’t want us to remember how we felt when we first accepted Christ. He wants us to stay in funky moods where we look to people and things to feel better. But this time I refuse. I am looking to Jesus to fill my heart with joy and love. I am falling in love with Jesus all over again.

Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice!

God Bless






Ramblings of a Middle Age Woman – #livefreeThursday

Every Thursday at tsuzanneeller.com she posts a topic and you can link your blog post on that topic. Today’s topic is It’s a Miracle and Suzie asks the question, “What miracle is God asking you to participate in?”

What if you don’t know what miracle? Does that mean there’s something wrong if you don’t know if He is using you to help someone? Should you be concerned if you don’t see a miracle happening to the people you interact with? Should you be reexamining your life, looking for hidden sin, talking to your pastor?

I don’t think so. (Unless you feel like there’s something wrong somewhere then by all means go talk to your pastor.)

Sometimes we have to remember that we may not see the result of what God has called us to do. Did you feel the need to pray for the mother and child you saw in the store?  You won’t see the result of your prayer, but God knows. Did you feel the urge to pay for the car behind you at the fast food place? You won’t know the result of that urging, but God does. Did you look at your closet one day and just all of a sudden feel the need to clean it out and donate all the clothes that you didn’t wear anymore or didn’t fit? You won’t know who those clothes went to help, but God knows. As do the people that were impacted by those actions.

Somewhere today a mother was sick trying to take care of a little child when someone showed up unexpectedly to help because they felt that need. Somewhere today, a mother was counting change trying to feed her children only to find someone before her had paid for their food. Somewhere today a homeless man was given a sweater to keep him warm. Those little things were big miracles to the people they blessed.

Not everyone has been called to actively go in the mission field. Some have been called to do nothing more than pray. Pray for the missionaries and the people they would be helping. Not everyone has been called to go preach. Some have been called to serve in the background at churches and make sure that the little things get done. Not everyone has been called to serve at a local food bank. Some have been called to make sure there is food and clothes available to give out to those in need.

I believe that everyone has a purpose for God. I just believe that you aren’t always going to see the results. Just like the hats I plan on crocheting and giving away to an organization. I won’t see the child and/or adults they go to but I pray that they will be given to someone who needs them. I pray that they will be blessed by my gift.

The cards I send out to people I’ve met on the internet through volunteering for P31OBS. These people impact my life greatly and I love being able to send encouragement out to them. But I don’t know if I will ever meet them face to face to actually see the result of that encouragement.

The people that I pray for on a weekly basis that comment on the study blog or the BSL events on Thursday evenings. I doubt that I will ever know the result of my praying for them. But it’s something I felt the urge to do. This is a mission that I feel the need to serve. So maybe in some way I helped someone. Maybe because of the urging I felt, someone experienced a miracle from God.

So if you feel that urging, that tug, that something deep inside of you that makes you know this is what God wants you to do, don’t ignore it. Don’t walk away from it. Say yes. You may never know the miracle that God blesses someone with but trust that He is going to make one happen.

God Bless

1 Corinthians 12: 4 – 6
4) Now there are varieties of gifts but the same Spirit; 5) and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; 6) and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone.

“He turned on the radio to hear a song for the last time
He didn’t know what he was looking for even what he’d find
And the song he heard it gave him hope and strength to carry on
And on that night, they found a miracle
They found a miracle.”
Third Day
I Need A Miracle

Saying Yes


Thursday (4/21/16) Ramblings of a Single Middle Age Woman

Don’t ya love the title?

I do.

If I sit down and think about what I’m going to write, I end up spending more time stressing over the title. Then by the time I settle on one, I don’t want to write the post. This was catchy and one I can use over and over and over again.

Middle aged. ugh! Well I did start out with old and changed it. People say you are only as old as what you feel. If that were true I’d be retired and living at the beach.

The intention tonight was to write something to link back to Suzanne Eller’s blog for her #livefreeThursday and the subject How Big is Your God. I’m not for sure that I can answer that question.

It’s not that I question how big is my God – my God is big enough to handle anything. He’s proven it time and time again. I question myself and why I forget how big He is. When trouble strikes or things seem bleak, instead of being confident that my God can handle it, I panic. Look to people and/or things to try to make things better. Then when I do FINALLY turn to God, if He doesn’t answer in a timely manner or like how I think He should, I still run to people and/or things. It may not be until later, after it’s all over, that I look back and go yeah – that’s my God.

There was one time in my life that I actually didn’t panic – at first. When I sat in the surgeon’s office and listen to him tell me he was 99% sure it was cancer but it was fixable. He kept waiting for me to fall apart, be worried, ask a million questions. But I didn’t. I sat there and said yes I know. It’s going to be ok. I watched God’s healing hand on my mom when she fought breast cancer and I knew He could do the same for me. It was later when I let life (divorce, problems with kids, financial difficulties) get to me and I acted in a way I shouldn’t have. I turned to things of the world to make me feel better and loved during my fight with cancer instead of totally relying on God.

Then when my biggest fear of being alone crashed down on me, when I had no where else to turn, when months of being a virtual reality junkie and computer gamer nerd ran it’s course, I sat back and took a long hard look at things that had happened and where I was. One thing was clear – God was there. He had never left. I’m the one who had moved away from Him.

But you know what? He took me back. My God is big enough for anything. And He’s big enough to forgive me for messing up and love me anyway. That’s how big my God is.

How Big Is Your God